were these LOVE ???

this pic is completely not related to what I want to write now...haha

ok, I begin to write now...

You know, I haven't loved anyone, and needles to say, haven't had a kind of "LOVER" for a while.

Yes, for a "very" while.
(I have no idea whether this phrase is correct or not in English...)

There are 2 thai guys, however, who shook my heart for this 1 year.

One guy was, 23years old, slim,tall and had the shiny, medium-long hair.

He usually wore the tight type of jeans which was fashionable in Bangkok at that time,
and made him look sexier.

What was more, he had very smooth skin and tidy body, and when I was fucked with him 2 times, I couldn't stop touching his back by not my palms.

maybe I wanted to just make him have the feeling of the sort of love to me...
besides, I just wanted a friend, who taught my homework of Thai language I studied then...

The other guy was Thai as well, and he was 30's, looked straight and masculine, whose color of skin was attractive, dark brown.

He had excellent skill about "fucking", that's why I didn't feel a sort of pain at all during the affairs, and he made me feel "unforgettable" pleasure...

Actually I didn't feel jealous about another guys who would sleep with him.
In another words, it didn't matter for me whether he had sex with whoever or not.

But he was maybe important for me at that time, because he reduced me to feel loneliness in Bangkok...

When I left Bangkok, I couldn't help but cry, thinking about my destiny that I couldn't see him for a long time.

He still doesn't know he made me cry...

these feellings I had then weren't LOVE, weren't they ???

LOVE is bit different from that we miss someone ,right?
In other words, the feeling we miss someone is not enough for LOVE, right?

When I was young, I didn't have any doubt about the meaning of LOVE.

The older I am, the more complicated the definition of the word LOVE becomes.