important word for love

I feel lonely just now, and his face and voice occur to me... but I don't know why...

he is thai guy, and I am not sure I love him or not, but I really wanna hear his voice.

so how can I make my feeling calm down???

he said to me "I love you very much" many times, that's why now I think about him,,,

It means that I am just a very lonely 30's guy???

However... his words may not be true, and he might say that words just because he wanted to fuck me or get money from me...

I know that, and moreover it doesn't matter.

when we try to organize LOVE, word is very meaningful and important,isn't it???

anyway, now I try to call him to thailand...
but I hesitate to push button... because he may not hang up my call, or I call him just because I feel lonely and I just may not wanna talk to him...
meanwhile, I really hate me that I think a lot to that...

even it's just calling a guy...